The Sound and the Fury by midnight pain

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 08/11/2005
Last Updated: 08/11/2005
Status: Completed

You hate the fear in her eyes (she's afraid of you and you hate it).




1. The Sound and the Fury
-------------------------



The Sound and the Fury

There were windows, rows and rows of windows, but the bars keep everything just out of reach.
You seem to think, seem to remember what it was like on the outside but the memory is blurred. You
want to scream but you can't because your throat is raw from it already; if you scream now it
will be too painful and you'll taste blood again (you hate blood because
*ohgodthere'ssomuch*)

You can't remember how it happened but you remember the fear in her eyes and the way it felt
to lose control (you swear you never meant to hurt her because you would rather die). You still
don't know what happened (and you're sorry so sorry and *ohgodwhathaveIdone* and
*Ilovedher*). You remember saying things - spells? curses? That, you don't know. It's
hard for you to remember your own voice because you don't use it anymore (the sound of it hurts
your ears and it's always pain).

You remember rage. You killed him and it didn't hurt; you killed him and you liked the way
it felt (because he deserved it for every person you loved that he took away and it shouldn't
have felt so good but it did and *they'll never let me keep this power*). You saw Ron. He
said he wanted to help you (you knew you knew he wanted to take the power away but you couldn't
let him). You hit him. You hit him over and over until he stopped moving. Then there was blood (so
much fucking blood). Your hands were red; your clothes were red. You could smell it. You could hear
it. Blood spattered the floor. You heard Ginny scream; you pointed your wand at her and she dropped
heavily to floor (and she wasn't screaming now).

You saw her then. She was afraid - she was afraid of *you*. There was something cold and
sharp in your hand and you didn't know how it got there. She was trembling when you stepped
toward her. “Harry…what have you done?” she whispered. You hate the fear in her eyes (she's
afraid of you and you hate it).

Her eyes are pleading with you. The sharp-thing, cold in your hand, you point it at her and
there's blood and tears (you said you'd never make her cry). You can't bear the sound
of her pleading, of her crying (*stopstopstop pleasestop* you just can't listen to it
because it hurts to hear and it hurts and hurts to hear it from her). She whispers *I love
you* because she can't speak, can barely breathe (and it hurts). You don't know when
your fingers wrapped around her throat (but you remember her skin was warm and soft and so soft).
And then her eyes didn't blink and you watched tears disappear into her hair. She wasn't
moving now.

Her name was on your lips: “Hermione…”

(you killed her you killed her you killed)

You started to shake and then you started to scream. You screamed until your throat bled. They
came. The pulled you away from her (*ohgodIcan'tleaveher*). They said something about
crazy. And then you slept.

You don't scream now. You can't remember her voice (only that whisper).

You take off the cotton pants and the air in the room is cool against your skin. You think, now,
you should go to her because you're so sorry (and she loved you still loves you because you can
feel it still when your heart beats). And then you can't breathe (and you don't wonder why
your feet can't feel the floor). In the window-reflection you think she smiles. It's all
right now.

*So bury me in memory. Her smile's your rope, so wrap it tight around your throat.*

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